Toothbrushes 1

A view of my old toothbrushes from above

Tiny kitchen

This is the tiny kitchen where i make my coffe when I'm at work. In case you're wondering what the mess on the wall is, well, there was a larger water heater there before but it was removed and replaced by the smaller one. One of the concrete building blocks seems to have a face in it. Maybe not a picture of Jesus - but a face nonetheless.

Recycling envelopes

I do my bit for the environment. I re-use envelopes. Punch holes in them and keep them together with metal clips. I have dozens of these.

I've taken a picture of this before - on my mobile phone/camera but this is a better version. The hotel across the road from my office is being demolished. There was once three pubs/hotels in the village now there's only one. One of them wa actually quite a large hotel - obviously too large for the village.

Coffee

I think this cup could do with a clean.

My mother brought this down to the office/workshop tonight for me. 40 years old and my mum is still bringing me meals now and then. I took a picture of it (obviously) and I had the large size version of it on full screen on my laptop while I was typing an e-mail on my other computer. I happened to glance across and went to pick up a spoon to take a bite of it. That was a disappointment I tell you to find it wasn't real.

Clocks are big, Machines are heavy

Only one hour 44 minutes to go and then it's home, sweet home.

Oh sugar

So, he's spilt the sugar - what does he do next? He does what every normal person would do - he takes a picture of it then posts it on his blog. Not tidy the place up then?

All my tv's working now

Finally figured how to get all three tv's working with Freesat. The only problem is it is confusing that I have to aim the remote at the Magic Link Eye thing - so if I'm watching on the portable b/w tv next to my computers in the bedroom I have to aim the remote at the MLE on top of the colour portable next to the bed....even if that tv is switched off. It's just not natural I tell thee.

I've ordered another Sky remote control on Ebay as it was getting annoying leaving the remote in the bedroom.

Charity wristbands gone mad

Alright - maybe they're not charity wristbands. How many rubber bands can you fit on one wrist?

Answers on a postcard to .........

£1 richer

I felt like I'd won the lottery tonight. I went to put my trolley back in its place at the supermarket and noticed a £1 coin in the trolley in front after I'd got my own £1 back. It confused me until I found the slotty thing and swiped the £1 for myself. Had I seen the person put the trolley there I would have shouted to them (honest) but instead I pocketed the money with a feeling of smugness.

Thunder and lightning
I think we may have some of this soon. My bedroom is like an oven just now. Really hot. The previous night I was going to leave the bedroom window wide open - but I was scared burglars would sneak in and bugger me while I was sleeping (coz that's wot they do you know). Tonight I'll take my chances. I've never tried it so I might even enjoy it if they did it to me. The only other problem is it's been boiling hot all day but dark clouds have been appearing. Knowing my luck it will start pissing it down when I've got the windows wide open.

Cheesecake

Just wolfed down a toffee cheesecake. 6 inch in diameter - here's a picture of the empty carton next to a sheet of A4 paper to give an idea of the size of it. I just kept nibbling away little bits at a time and before I knew it the thing was gone.

My Freesat

Well that's me got my Freesat finally with all the programmes I'm allowed. The TV installer didn't bother coming out to install the viewing card and gave me instructions to do it myself. I think he was avoiding me because I had to pay the extra £20 for the viewing card and he knows I would have complained. What could have cost me £150 from Sky has ended up costing me £259 by getting it done by a "local" person.
My Magic Link Eye thing works as well. But I can't use my portable b/w tv in the bedroom. I have two tv's in my bedroom. One next to my computers which is handy to switch channels the other is next to my bed. I can have Freesat on both of them but not through the Magic Link Eye (or is it Magic Eye Link?) or I can have the MLE on the bed tv but then the b/w tv doesn't work at all.

It's a puzzler.

No I'm not giving some sort of nazi salute. Note my charity wristband (or is it just a blue rubber band) and look at the state of the windows falling apart.

Clothes getting dried

Hopefully they'll be dry by the time I go to bed as they are right above my bed. I don't like hanging them outside (far healthier I know). I usually hang them in the hallway but as it's so bloody hot just now I can hang them in my bedroom and they'll be dry quicker.

Who ate all the pies

40 years old and he has this written on his bedroom door. I give up. I am well aware that there is an "S" missing from the end of the last "pie" - I was just making sure I had used the right type of pen. ie not permanent. Below is the remainder of the hand.

A nice smelling fly

There is a fly in my kitchen and will be smeeling a bit nicer than all the other flies. I don't have any fly killer spray but I do have some deoderant. I thought I'd skoosh the little blighter with that. I even thought I'd killed him at one point as he disappeared from sight - but the little basket case is back. Maybe even has super powers now. It's probably shitting over any food I've got left lying about just to spite me.

I'll end up dreaming I'm being chased by a large version of this sheep. (click on the picture for the full size version).

I'm famous

Post edited - maybe I'm not famous.

Where's my fecking camera? I'm getting annoyed waiting for it to arrive now. At least the have one of the camera this time and it is "on it's way" but what the hell does that mean.

I hate this heat. It must be a sign of old age moaning about the heat/cold. I've been told by a policeman friend that there are more car accidents in summer than there are in winter with the icy roads. All these pervs driving about in cars looking at 18 year old with tiny skirts and skimpy tops. There's a thought to go to my bed with now. Instead I'll probably end up dreaming of being chased over fields by giant sheep.

I am not afraid

As a result of the bombings in London last Thursday (7/7......or as the Americans would call it, 7/7) there seems to be a lot of "We are not afraid" pictures going about. So, I think I'll add my own.

I woke up this morning and my willy was gone
Ooooo eeee chirpy chirpy cheep cheep

They don't write songs like that anymore he reminisces.

What's going on in the world today?

I can't believe what I'm hearing on the news tonight. A 14 year old is accused of raping a 7 year old, two 8 year olds and is also accused of sexually assaulting a 10 year old. Not even over a period of a few weeks - he tempted all four girls to leave the playground where they were playing to a more secluded part of the park. Also, on the day of the London bombings a 10 year old girl was found by her grandfather murdered not far from where she lived. She had been beaten to death. Police want to speak to two boys she was seen playing (football I think) with earlier. A couple of months ago a 12 year old girl was accused (in the press) of attempting to hang a 5 year old boy. I know kids have been raped/murdered (by adults) since the beginning of time but now kids are being accused of these things with greater regularity than I can remember. Maybe the reporting of these things is getting better because of faster communications but I definitely think things are getting worse.

Maybe I was just more innocent at that age - but things like that didn't even enter into my head.

My monitor's on its last legs

I think I'll need to invest in a new monitor soon. This one is going crazy now. The only problem is this computer is very huffy about having other monitors on it. I'll need to try again to see if I can get another monitor working on it.

Why is my computer so arsey when it comes to monitors. It just won't allow another monitor to be used on it. Why is my other computers don't care what monitor is used - I can chop and change them without any hassle. This is getting right on my tits now.

This heat is killing me

Well yesterday I spent the day like a slob - unable to get off my settee - I just slept there most of the time. And now my back is in agony as a result. I also stabbed my left foot with a kitchen knife. It was lying on the floor. My left foot stood on the blade. My right foot stood on the handle and slid the blade into my left foot. I have little feeling in my right foot because of a back operation about 9 or 10 years ago so I couldn't stop it. Actually, it was a mountain out of a molehill. There was bugger all wrong with my left foot. A big fucking Jessie is all I am. I've just been reading about someone else that has had to go to hospital last night because of them cutting themself that bad and I'm worrying about a pin prick.

My camera can't be far off now

I'm expecting my camera to be delivered any day now and I can start posting more pointless pictures on my blog again. Then the thing will be left as the novelty wears off.

Update :
Well my camera willl be far off now. The memory card arrived today so I went to check the website to see if the camera had been sent out yet.......low and behold - nothing. No mention of a camera. It had vanished into thin air. I went to check my e-mails to see if there was any mention of it and I found an e-mail dated the 5th July saying they couldn't find any supplies of the camera. Fucking marvelous Amazon.co.uk. That's the last time I'll be buying anything from you. You took from the 26th June to the 5th July to find out you didn't have any stock of the camera. Anyway - I've ordered another one....this time I paid the £9.80 to have i delivered quicker and it's still going to be £19 cheaper than Amazon. I only went with Amazon as I thought they'd be more reliable than going with a company I'd never heard of.
So this morning I'm grumpy and tired (as well as fat and bald).

Cornflakes, biscuits and pot noodles

How long can someone live on cornflakes, biscuits and pot noodles? I'm just too tired the last few days to eat. I did make an attempt at a meal the other night, but it looked disgusting, tasted worse ands despite me flushing it down the toilet I'm sure the smell is lingering around to remind me.

Not recognising people (#17)
At the supermarket tonight there were only two tills being used and one of those was the "baskets only" till. I had a trolley - but the nice looking girl directed me to that till as I didn't have that many items. Just as it was my turn I noticed the person behind me had only one item (a huge box of beer bottles) so I said he could jump in, in front of me and he replied "Thanks Longshot Kickdebucket". It was only then I noticed that the person live in one of the flats below mine and I have probably known him for about 20 or more years.

Woken up by five helicopters

Went to my bed at 2am and decided to get back up and post on SAUK at 6am until about 11am then went back to my bed - pointless as I knew I would be back up at noon. I was then woken up by what I thought at the time was one really loud helicopter right outside my window (absurd I know). But I found out later there were actually five of the beggars buzzing about. What am I going to be woken up by next.

Raging at the cost of my Freesat
It is advertised on the Sky website as costing £150. I saw a local TV shop advertise in my football teams match day programme the same thing for £199 so I'd rather go for someone that advertises in there even though it was £49 dearer. I then had to wait 6 months and after it's installed I'm told it will actually cost £239. There was no viewing card with it and so after about another 10 days of the TV shop guy saying it is a computer glitch to blame (I wonder if it was the same computer glitch that delayed the installation by 6 months) he then phones me up, gives me a phone number and I've to order the thing myself. Another £20. £259 I've spent on it so far. £109 more than if I'd gone direct to Sky. Fuck loyalty to my football team - I'll go for the cheap option in future.

Whatever happened to Roxette?

I was listening to a song on one of my Freesat channels and I thought that sounds like Roxette. At the end of the song the title came up as something like "Roxette versus blah blah blah". I hate that. What's this versus all about? Is she having an arm wrestling competition with the person? No. She is singing on the same song as this person. So what did happen to Roxette. I really mean - whatever happened to Marie Fredriksson from Roxette.

Could I be about to BUY some music

Ever since I got broadband (and probably before) I have this reluctance to actually buy music.It's pretty easy to find most of what I'm looking for on Usenet and it takes less time than the song is to download. But I've saw a Dido dvd that has a free audio cd as well and I think I may just buy it. Old habits die hard as I've already downloaded the audio cd off of Usenet but there are another five tracks on the dvd. Dido has become like Dire Straits (Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?) She was massive once, like Dire Straits and now it has become fashionable to knock her, like Dire Straits. Ah well, I like them both.

Hearing knocking at the door
Very early this morning I thought I heard a knock at my door. As I'm expecting a large football book to be delivered (actually a book about one of my own club's rivals) I got up to see if the knock at the door was the postie. There was a policeman at my neighbours door and I asked him if he had knocked on my door. It must have been the knocking at my neighbour's door I heard. Still, I suppose it's better than getting up to answer a knock at the door and the knock was actually in my dream.

My blistered heel

WARNING
The following picture is absolutely disgusting. I haven't put it directly on my blog because of this. Certainly not for the squeamish.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y3/theesel1994/Dscf0034.jpg

There are two blisters - one has broken and the other is filled with puss just waiting to explode. There is another one on my toe as well. I wish this fecking flash wouldn't go off so I can get a decent piucture.

Ooooooooooh Gabby

There is absolutely no reason for me posting this picture other than to say I was once obsessed with this woman.

Can you guess what it is yet?

The above subject line should be said in a Rolf Harris accent.

Well, if you can, tell me what it's proper name is or find me a picture on t'internet of it.

A strange start to the day

Around 10:30am I heard some glasses being rattled at my door. I thought - maybe it's the postman. You see, I have a carrier bag full of glass jars waiting to go to be recycled. I thought, maybe the postie has placed his bag down next to this bag and knocked it over. I thought no more of it. When I went out about an hour later, someone had placed all the jars in a line outside my door. I live in a block of six flats.

When I came back up later on I was locked out my building. I never bothered to get a key cut for the front door to the building so I had to go through the door to the next block of flats and in through the back door on my building. Annoying. We only got a lock on the door to stop schoolchildren getting into the building at lunchtimes in winter and eating their lunch. It was usually a group of about a dozen girls. I said hello to them any time I passed them on the stairs and they said hello back. But I think others in the building must have gone out and started arguing with them and they would have argued back. One of my neighbours even phoned the police to complain about them. One Wednesday I was leaving on my bike and I heard people talking outside my door. They were there for about 45 minutes by the time I left. Great - so that's where my tax money goes.

Camera I've ordered.

This is the camera I've ordered (right click on the link and open it in a new window so you can stay on my interesting blog and not bugger off and buy stuff from Amazon.

Amazon.co.uk: Electronics & Photo: Casio Exilim Card EX-S100 Silver Digital Camera with Docking Station (3.2Mp, 2.8x Optical), 2.0" LCD

Glasgow SA meeting

I went to my first ever Glasgow SA meet on Saturday - only another two people turned up though.

Before going home I headed to Coopers Bar in Glasgow Central station and had a pint of lager.

24 minutes later and it was time for another one

And then 18 minutes later it was time for some food and a rip-off 70p for a bag of crisps.

And then a train journey home. I was invited to a nightclub in my home town by a couple of attarctive young teenage ladies from Kilbirnie. One of them was convinced she knew me from somewhere and worryingly asked me if I was a policeman. maybe the shiny shoes (size 13) which were giving me blisters were what made me think I was a plod.

Measured up for my kilt

That's me been measured up for my kilt now. When she was measuring round me at one point my belly started to wobble. I thought to myself .....Don't laugh - it will only make it wobble more.

Ventriloquists

Haven't seen any of those on TV in years - but now I've got crap TV to go through I found a ventriloquist. He was only on for a couple of minutes though.

Christmas is fast approaching

We've not even reached the Summer Solstice and I've received my first Christmas catalogue.

Carrier bag tax

Just as I folded up all my carrier bags I hear on the TV some MSP is trying to get a carrier bag tax passed through the Scottish Parliament. Bloody typical. maybe I should set up a stall outside the supermarket and sell the ones I already have at half price.

Carrier bags

I've got boxes full of these cartons of carrier bags......just in case they decide to start charging for them at some point in the future (like they do in the Republic of Ireland).

Strange hut

This hut has suddenly appeared in the garden where I look out my living room window. Maybe there was a tree there before that's been chopped down. But when I first saw it I thought it was an outside toilet.

Freesat

I've now got my new Freesat thing - but I don't have the viewing card yet so most of the channels are missing. What a load of dross that is there though. I do get the choice of match I want at Wimbledon. I can't find ITV or Channel Four or Channel Five.

A bit of cheek from one of those installing the thing. His mate said to me I've left you plenty of cable in case you want to put the TV somewhere else in the room, to which he said "where the hell is he going to put the TV?" because the room is overcrowded with "things". And that was after I'd moved a lot of the stuff through to the bedroom to give them some space.

I didn't even let them through to the bathroom to wash his hands and asked him to wash them in the kitchen sink. Partly because I'd just used the toilet before they arrived but partly because that place is also being used to store things.

Finally folded the carrier bags
I finally got round to folding the pile of plastic carrier bags I get from Morrison's. It onlt takes a few minutes if I do it at the time of using the bags - but I rarely do so the pile gets bigger and then I've got to spend an hour or so folding them. Then they're kept neatly in plastic milk cartons (cut to appropriate size).

Knocked out by air gel

I think I've figured out why I was feeling so drowsy last week. I bought an air fresh gel for the tiny office I work in for a couple of days a week. This was placed on a shelf and this particular shelf was only about 18 inches from my head. I think I was being "poisoned" by this because I've moved the position of it this week and haven't felt drowsy.......despite not getting to bed until 4am this morning.

Ourbid on Ebay with 5 seconds to go

I'd been bidding on a book and was outbid with just 5 seconds left. This particular book came out in 1985. I bought the first edition of it. It was a football (non-league) book. The edition I had did not have any Scottish results in it so I was determined to get the version that had Scottish results. I think I actually bought my version around 1992 so I've been waiting for 13 years to get the book.......FIVE FUCKING SECONDS. Christ, the creep was waiting for the final seconds so I couldn't come back at him. What a wanker - I thought it was just me that did that.

So just how much interest have I earned?

So - how much interest should I have earned since the interest was last added to the various accounts.

Well, the Abbey national one was opened on the 9th June so that's 3 days interest (it's is actually only two, if I think about it - but it's easier to count this way) which is 3p after 1p tax has been deducted. The National Savings Bank should have 162 days interest - or £2.91 after tax (with the greedy bastard taxman getting 73p). My ISA has no tax deducted and so at 12th June should have given me £56.87.

£5.94 a week interest

That's how much I earn from my savings.

I have £6300 in an ISA which earns me £5.74 a week (no tax to pay). My National Savings Bank a/c earns me 13p a week (after income tax deducted) from the £252.49 I have in it. I recently closed one Abbey a/c and opened another so the £122.90 I have in there earns me a whopping penny a day or 7p per week interest by the time the tax man has had his share.
The rates of interest are as follows :
ISA 4.75%
NSB 3.25%
Abbey 3.55%
I currently have around £600 in my current account and £114 cash in my wallet and I owe my credit card £29.05 and around £500 is owed to me for work I've done and not been paid for yet. So there you have my financial state of affairs at 10th june 2005.
40 years old - it's a pretty sad picture don't you think. time to bung some of that £600 from my current account into the National Lottery a/c in an attempt to try and improve things.

atacked by a baby swan

I dreamt I was attacked by a baby swan. Part of a much larger dream too bizarre to describe. The swans would grow from a ball not to dissimilar to something deepfat fried. They would evolve "transformer like" into swans (dunno where the deep fat fried outer layer went to - it couldn't have disappeared as that's what then ended up in after flying about). This particular baby swan flew towards me and I held out two fingers (held together) for it to land on. Unfortunately it used it's feet to wrap around my fingers in a vice like grip. It was agony. Then it bit me - but held on. Everyoen was looking at the swan and saying how sweet it looked - which meant I couldn't do what I wanted and that was to batter it off a table to get it to let go of me. There was a bunch of these deep fat fried objects lying on the ground - and I was saying to people not to break the outer crust. But it was too late and I had to run away from these creatures. I had a fera of going to sleep because of knowng I could wake at find I was being bitten by a swan.


Then, just before 8am there was a knock at the door. So I out my clothes on and answered the door - only for it to dawn on me I had dreamt this as well. I've probably wrote about this before on my blog as it happens that often.

Could I feel any worse?

My pills are meant to be taken after a meal. Well I took one lot at 9:30am and another lot about 3pm and I hadn't had anything to eat by that time. Went to work about 4pm and thought I'm going to fall asleep at any moment. So I came home and thought I might even fall asleep while cycling home. I nearly came off the road at one point.....luckily the police car wasn't behind me at that point. But I can't sleep. It isn't even the pain that keeping me awake now. I don't know what it is . I feel as though my face is going to fall on this keyboard I'm that tired. But when I lie down and try to sleep - nothing happens. It's a bit like a bad hangover - one that starts early - even before you've finished drinking. You then can't sleep and feel sick. That's another thing I've had - warnings about an impending trip to the toilet with my face stuffed down the pan.

Everything I touch seems to break
At my work there is a computer, monitor and printer I bought for them off of Ebay. I didn't even bother to ask them - I just bought the stuff and then demanded the money. Well, as soon as I got in the monitor packed in. I say packed in - it didn't even start. I'm the only one that uses their computer as well. So I got them to give me a lift home and I picked up a 15" monitor. I have 6 spare ones because of a mad spell on Ebay. After using this one for a wee while I decided it was too small. I've bought another 17" one off of Ebay - again without telling them.
The pull-down lightswitch in the kitchen at my work doesn't work so I just keep taking the bulb in and out while the switch is left in the permanent on position. This bulb decided it didn't want to work after I accidentally dropped it. Probably because I was feeling so drowsy. What else can possibly go wrong for me today.

While cycling the last part of my journey home I saw someone stading in a doorway that vaguely know so I was going to say hello as I cycled by. He was taking to someone on the pavement that I didn't recognise. This person then shouted out to me. I then recognised him. I've been going to the football every Saturday with him since about 1982. I don't recognise him but I recognise someone I've hardly saw. Must be these drugs playing havoc with my brain......what's left of my brain.

Retrospective

It appears RETROSPECTIVE is being removed from all new dictionaries from 1st January 2009 onwards. Seems a bit harsh as I can think of a few other words that are more deserving to be removed. Still, that's the decision the powers-that-be have made. Some words have to be removed to make way for new words. It's annoying that a good word like RETROSPECTIVE has to make way for CHAV.

I'll need to start taking more pictures

Just a note to myself (well, there's only me and two other people read this blog) to start taking more pictures with my mobile phone.

Becoming more organised via the internet

I've definitely become a lot more net organised now.
Most of my favourites are stored at Yahoo so I can access them via any computer. My Hotmail account I've now organised into various folders. It's a pity I never noticed the bit about "sent e-mails" being deleted after 30 days. My banking is done online now and I've also added Abbey National. I can view previous Gas bills on the net now (though there's not much use for that). My phone bills also I can view online - there is a use for that. My Tax Returns are filed online now.....and my bank balance isn't as healthy as I thought as there's a tax bill to be paid at theend of July.
Just wish I could get my flat tidier via the net.

Hottest day of the year - so guess what I bought???????

This has been copied from SA-UK where my dodgy shoulder hasn't been mentioned before in case you're wondering why I mnetion it in this post despite mentioning it a few times already on my blog.

It must be the hottest day of the year where I'm living (Burns Country) and I've just bought a hot water bottle out of the chemists. I have a dodgy shoulder just now - which means I haven't slept since Wednesday because of the pain. Went to the docs today and she gave me a prescription for some drugs. She also told me some heat on the shoulder might do some good - she suggested a hot water bottle. I had no intention of getting one - I was intending scalding the shoulder on a kettle. But as I was wandering about aimlessly in the chemist while waiting for my prescription - as you do, otherwise you look as though you're about to rob the place this hot water bottle whispered gently in my ear "Buy me". I thought it was the sleep depravation at first but then the bottle started waving at me and saying "look - over here - buy me". I know I've just turned 40 but hot water bottles, slippers - what's next - a walking stick.

The last thing I needed

The last thing I needed when I have this bad shoulder is to slip on some wet tiles. I was down at a chip shop picking up some invoices and the lassie was outside cleaning the tiles. I stretched my foot to avoid stepping twice on the tiles and slipped. The chip shop owner looked up at that point to see me in pain. If I lived in the USA I'd have sued him. I didn't fall or anything like that - it's just that I can do without sudden movements.

My cheapo drugs

Click on the picture for the larger size version

Well my shoulder's been buggered since about Wednesday. It wasn't until Saturday that I decided to get some drugs to help myself. I had tried using 5 years out of date Co-proxomal on the Friday night (against the advice of one of my blog readers - there are two of you out there).
So I've bought some Ibuprofen, Paracetamol and Dextrose Energy - although the latter are basically just sweets.....or at least I treat them as sweets.
I never knew drugs were so cheap nowadays - certainly a lot cheaper than the guy that used to live below me sold them for.
But it looks as though I may have to give in and see the doc tomorrow.

A bunch of receipts

No receipts for ages then along come five all at once :

My birthday potato

Money's tight in this household so I couldn't afford a birthday cake. A birthday potato had to suffiice.

A reminder from my birthday

Well, I may have a momento of my birthday I'd rather not have. Just had a little disagreement with my laser printer - it was flashing red lights at me and saying warning but it didn't tell me what the problem was. So I punched it and a broke a piece of plastic off it. Three of my fingers have had the skin scraped off in the altercation and now my pinky appears to be broken. Well maybe I exaggerate - but the slightest touch on it and I'm in agony whereas the other fingers are OK to touch.

My "latest" bank book

Click on the picture for the full size version.

And here is the "latest" book. So, it's been over 8 years since I last darkened their door with my presence. Think I'll need to pope down and get my book updated.

My first bank book

Click on the picture for the full size version.

My bank book. The person on the phone asked me today when I opened the account - I wasn't aware then it was actually over a quarter of a century ago. I'm not sure whether this was my first bank book or whether I had one from the Post Office even earlier.

My fax friend is fucked

Yesterday my electricity was going mental as they were trying to fix it. Today my fax friend no longer works. I bet it's because of all the constant on and off of the leccy.

I have £120 in an account I forgot all about

So I phoned up the bank and asked why I hadn't received a statement for 3 years and they told me because it was only the interest that was added each year that was the only transactions I'd had. (not very good English I know). In fact, the last time I was in their bank was in 1997. I think I went in the huff with them as I lost out on £750 bonus when they went PLC. I'd been with them since 1987 (Edit : actually since Jan 1980) and because I let my balance drift below £100 for about the first time since then I missed out yet my brother who'd not been with them that long got his bonus. Life's a bastard at times. Especially Sundays.
I have two other bank accounts with a different bank. I think one had 40p in it and the other a massive 42p.

Holy shit and fuck - the delete button has packed in. Must have been the amount of times I've used the CTRL - ALT then whacked DEL. Holy shit and fuck #2 - it's magically returned.

Happy birthday to me

Well yippee-de-doo-da - I'm 40 now

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee
Happy birthday to me
(and Brooke Shields)

Electricity fixed now

I woke up this morning and the electricity was going even more mental than usual. I'm surprised I didn't run out of paper on my fax machine with the amount of "Power Failure Report" it spewed out. I thought to myself right, that's it - that's the final straw - you've gone too far this time and I was going to phone the electricity company (or gas company or telephone company or whoeverthefuck deals with electricity these days). Phone companies selling electricity, gas companies selling electricity, electricity companies selling gas and all of them selling some sort of insurance - what the hell is going on. So I think things should be back to normal now.

Place your bets

I'm going to try and burn a cd. Because of the slowness of my computer - it runs on steam - it takes about 40 minutes normally. Will these dips in power fuck it up or will I get a complete power cut. So will I make it - place your bets now.

Power going off

Twice now in the space of a few minutes has the power gone off. I get the feeling it won't be the last either. The power has been flickering for a couple of days now. I hope I had all my work saved on my other computer and nothing gets "wiped". I hate when that happens. Especially if I've been saving a document every few minutes then because the power goes off the computer decides to wipe the whole document.

Unbelievable - one computer didn't even finish the automatic "scandisk" before the power went off again. The bedroom computer has the blue screen of death every time I re-boot so I've got the CTRL-ALT-DEL it to start again in safe mode - then re-start. Fucking annoying.

The telephone starts speaking to me each time the power goes off saying it is setting my answering machine message. The fax machine spews out a piece of paper saying there was a power cut. That's the only thing the fax machine ever prints.

Lights are flickering like crazy just now but the power hasn't completely gone out - lucky this laptop has a battery to back it up.

Yay

I'd just been thinking to myself that nobody actually says that word. They may write it down in an e-mail but they never actually say it. Until tonight and I found my telephone bill which had been annoying me because of its disappearance. What did I exclaim - YAY.

Yay - the Simpsons are on TV.

Ordered another pair of jeans

Well the "two pairs for £18" offer. I'm going to place another order once those have arrived. Why don't you order two sets of two pairs just now? I hear you ask (good ears). Well Freemans have eight different offers on just now and you can only use one with each order. Six of the offers are useless. One is for a luxurious bathrobe. Looks hideous in the picture but can only be better than the one I have just now. The other offer is for a hair drier. No use to me but it's free so I'll get it anyway.

God's taking the piss now

Well, I dried out the clothes and put them back into the washing machine. Only for the fecking dial to snap. Ok - I can still turn round the thing - but I don't know what setting it will be at. Everything I wash gets done at setting 4.....I don't even know what setting 4 is now I just wash everything at that setting.

Musty smell

I left my washed clothes in the washing machine too long (again) and they've now got this musty smell to them. Musty - I couldn't remember what that word was earlier and it was driving me nuts. So now I've got to dry the clothes and wash them again. Gives me an excuse to go to the supermarket again to buy washing powder. I forgot to buy bread the last time and there's none in the freezer. Lucky those jeans arrived when they did as I had ran out of trousers to wear.

Cheapo jeans

Well my cheapo jeans finally arrived today. Lucky I was late going out to work or I'd have missed the person delivering them. £18 for 2 pair of jeans. Not that fashion conscious. I haven't wore jeans since I was about 16 but as I'm nearing 40 (in about a fortnight's time) I thought I'd try and be youthful again. What a joke. At that price I might just order another couple of pairs. That should keep me going for a wee while - unless, of course, they rip apart. I mean - what can you expect froma £9 pair of jeans. One of them are black so they could pass for trousers but the blue pair will be noticeable as jeans -and I'm very aware of people noticing me. Maybe after a wee while I'll stop caring about that. And maybe I'll stop using the word wee as much.

SA-UK :: SA-UK - Photos :: Peasie's photo

SA-UK :: SA-UK - Photos :: Peasie's photo

Right click and open in a new window.
Someone implying I look like Patrick Stewart - yeah, I wish.

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Inside my my washers and screws drawer. You can never have too many washers, screws, hooks, nails and other assorted useless things. Stuff I might use one of but by them in batches of 100 as they seem so cheap.

24 hour clocks

13:07 mean it's 7 minutes past 1. You subtract 12 hours from the 13:07 - see it's not hard is it. AND IT'S NOT 7 MINUTES PAST 3 YOU BRAINLESS TIT. I just switched on the radio thinking I'd missed the first hour of the sports program then it dawned on me it was only 1:07pm. Ah well, plenty time to write some drivel.

A bagpipe player
I've just had to put up with a rather annoying bagpipe player. I couldn't see where the noise was coming from. There are a bunch of trees in front of the school playground across the road from me obscuring the view - but from the toilet window I could see a young lad practising with an adult next to him wandering about aimlessly. Probably an examiner of some sort. He stopped playing and in the background I could hear another bagpipe player. Invasion of the bagpipe players.

My photo
I'm more and more tempted to post my photo on SAUK. I took a picture with my mobile phone. Actually I took a lot before I had one I was happy not completely disappointed with. It looked Ok-ish on my main computer but it looks completely weird (normal then) on this laptop. I'll think it over.

Too many clothes

Must have been the hottest day of the year so far. But the tiny office I work in

(there is a larger version of this picture here - right click on link and open in a new window)
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/24/991/1024/02-03-05_1554.jpg

is away from the window so the sun doesn't get to the back office. The building has a false ceiling. The real ceiling is made of concrete and so the place is bloody freezing most of the time. So when I came out the office at 4:45pm (home early for a change) I was wearing a shirt, jumper and jacket and I cycled home. I took the long way home along the prom (an extra couple of miles onto my journey) and it was packet with tourists. Tiniest bit of sun and they all head down here. I was cycling by all these people with their ice creams and wearing just tee-shirts. Did see one of the funniest sights - two little girls, one of them maybe about 5 and the other only about 3 or 4 were cycling in front of me. The younger of the two girls had a bike with stabilisers and her little legs were peddling away frantically. The older girl was wobbling about all over the prom - I was scared to overtake in case she took a wobbly turn just as I went by. I just can't get the image of that wee girls legs peddling like a maniac out of my head.

Later on in the evening I went out to do some shopping (receipt will appear later) and bought too much stuff to fit on my bike. So I had a bag wrapped round my wrist and had stuffed the lightweight "Bettabuy Noodles" into my jacket pockets. Three in each pocket. My thighs battering against them as I cycled along. Only 9p each. That was the only reason I bought them.

Happy slapping

Time for a backlash against this new fun game for the kiddies. They think it's fun to film themselves beating up innocent people - well how will they feel when folk kick the fucking shit out of them. The youth of today - they get away with murder. They know they can. Any adult fights back and they go running home to mummy and then to the police. They act so hard in their groups of a dozen. Not so hard on their own. Tme to look out the baseball bat and balaclava.

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body

I think I should have a woman's body - but I'd still be attracted to women, although probably not attractive TO women so the lesbian bit might be difficult.

Latest shopping receipt
I haven't scanned it yet but I mentioned to someone that my shopping screamed out "single man" and they questioned why - well, this latest one should remove all the doubt. I was served by a lovely Finnish girl (at least I overheard the person in front remark about her being Finnish) - not called "Cashier" as it says on the receipt. I think they may have sussed the flaw in giving people "cashback" when they hand over a card. I knew it couldn't last. She initially asked me if I wanted cash back and I said £30 wouldn't go amiss - but she said she couldn't give me any money from the till. Another worker in the store said I could get it from another till - but that seemed a bit dishonest. She also suggested I could get some money from the machine outside the store. This seemed weird to me. I mean, I can understand the supermarket wanting to give me money - as I had been spending money in their store - but why would a machine want to give me money.
All the girls are lovely in Morrison's. I can't wait until I become a lesbian.

Relegation
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - I won't mention the team,

but my own club's oldest rivals were relegated into the league which we are leaving. Up until last season this club had never been relegated and now they've been relegated two years on the trot. Well at least they can't sink any lower. For the first time in our club's history we'll start the season in a division above them. Oh what fun we'll have when we play them in the League Cup next August - knowing they will be below us. Gerritrightfuckinupyous-yabunchofgarnockvalleyscumbags.
Now it's just that other team from Shabby Park we need to see relegated - but I think they'll survive. One season they are champions the next they are facing the drop.

An odd dream

A weird dream this morning. I dreamt I was cycling to the village I work a couple of days a week. The back wheel was clicking in its socket thing (technical term)....at the axis bit (another technical term). "thing" "bit" what are the right names. So I stopped my bike and looked at the weel and the nuts had come loose. I was tightening them up with my fingers and someone started walking towards me. They were singing and appeared drunk.Anyway, this person started talking to me and knew me as he was talking about one of my brothers. The next thing was he was going into a large wooden toolbox that had suddenly appeared. He tightened the nuts up properly for me. He then got into a car (that wasn't in the dream before) and drove off laughing maniacally. So I double checked the back wheel to see if that was the reason for the laughter. As he drove off I noticed his back bumper had come off and was tied on again and dragging along the road....a bit like a wedding car with cans tied to the back. So I cycled off and met someone I go to the football with. I started to explain about a cup competion had been drawn in - a competition both of us thought had been dropped. In real life I only found out at 3:30am so I had e-mailed him with the news and the complete draw for the competition - they draw, the first round, second round, semi final (and obviously final by default) at the same time as there are only 10 clubs involved in this local competition.
I was talking away to him and what I was saying was making sense but his replies were totally incomprehensible. I had to ask him to repeat himself a few times and even then I couldn't understand what he was saying. It was getting frustrating.
And then I woke up.

That dongle is driving me nuts

I've now got a new design feature on my kitchen door as a result of this fucking dongle giving me jip. Yes - those are earlier punch marks in the kicten door and the handle was also snapped off in a rage. The latest feature on the door is a spoon sticking out of it after I decided to stab the door with what was in my hand at the time.

Installing that dongle has caused me endless problems. The above box appears every time Windows starts up and Windows won't load until I press cancel. All my passwords in Outlook Express have gone and I have to re-enter them. The connection to the Internet - I now need to enter the password every time I connect instead of it being saved. Even some programs I had previously "cracked" are now saying they are over the trial period. Dingle dangle dongle.

Show's yer dongle

Oooh errr missus - here's a pic og my dongle. I gave up on the cable to connect my mobile phone to the PC and went for a dongle instead. Who comes up with these names. A nightmare to install but it is installed now and I can happily take pics and upload them to my pc and then to photobucket and then to my blog. One of these days I may even phone someone on my mobile phone - nah, that won't happen for a while.

An Asda shopping receipt

Somebody elses shopping receipt. It's from Asda - I chopped the address and phone number off the receipt. Don't want people phoning up and making abusive phone calls. This person spends a lot more money than me. Jesus H Christ - I've looked at this receipt a few times now and just read what was bought and never really noticed the prices. £7.37 for a bird feeder. For that money I'd want the bird and the cage as well. Do you think I'm out of touch with the price of things these days.

Black jeans

My black jeans arrived today. I haven't wore jeans for over 20 years now. But these ones look more like trousers than jeans.

Customer Support - what's that?

How do these people justify getting a wage. They don't do anything. They don't actually read the e-mails sent to them.
I've given up on www.mobilefun.com . I ordered a new cable for my mobile phone to my pc and thought it would just be a straightforward case of swapping one for the other. Mobilefun's response was to download the latest software from mobile-action which would have been ok if they had supplied the drivers as well as the hardware/software wants to look for a driver that I don't even know the name of because it doesn't state it. I've got a thumping sore head and have just given up after wasting about 8 hours on it. I saw an offer for a bluetooth dongle and went for that instead. I'm just pissed off at wasting £14 on a useless cable.

Shut up and play yer guitar

To quote a Frank Zappa triple album box set.

Well I got out my amplifier and used my electric guitar for the first time in months tonight. But because I was using a distortion pedal I had to plug in the headphones - don't want to waken the neighbours. I've always got this fear though that the plug has come out of the headphone socket and the neighbours are hearing it after all. I haven't played the electric guitar for ages because I've been playing either the semi-acoustic guitar or the semi-acoustic bass guitar.

Filing newspapers

I managed to get something done today that I've been putting off for months/years. I keep newspapers sports pages. The sports pages are always at the back of a newspaper. So say for instance a newspaper has 48 pages. This is 12 sheets of paper folded in two. So if the back three or four pages are of sport I'll keep pages 1, 2, 3, 4, 45, 46, 47 & 48. I keep three local newspapers in this format. I've been keeping them for about 13 years now so you can imagine the pile of papers is getting higher and higher. So I'll punch holes in them and file them away in lever arch files. At least I'll keep the current football season's worth of newspapers. Previous seasons I'll keep together with metal filing clips. I managed to get a few years worth done today and my fingers are completely black.

"OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

MediaPost Publications Home of MediaDailyNews, MEDIA and OMMA Magazines

What a way to go

Might need to invest in a new monitor

I've just looked at the picture of my meal
http://fatandbald.blogspot.com/2005/05/my-rabbit-food-meal.html

on my laptop computer and it doesn't look so bad after all. My monitor is too dark (even at its lightest setting).

White legs and welly boots

Have you ever seen legs as white as these?

Hiding up a chute

I think the ugly git up the top of this chute is me. This is a replacement chute for a much larger one. My little sister fell of the top of it once and bounced off her head. There used to be concrete around the base (I think that's what still there in this picture) but it's now been replaced by some weird rubbery compound (very strange to walk on if you're drunk).

So why is there a picture of me sitting up the top of a chute? Well, if I remember correctly the rest of the group (I think it was some kind of family gathering) were over at the swings. I knew they had a camera with them so I thought the safest place to be to avoid being in a photo was away from everyone else. Dagnabit - they caught me.

The wall that made me crap at tennis

Years of practising against this wall meant that I ended up hitting the ball into the net rather than above it. This must have been during "the old dears" phase of sculpting the hedge. She is definitely barking mad. I could post pictures of her to prove this but that wouldn't be fair on her.

If you look closely through the door you can see a grandfather clock. It's been there for as long as I can remember. Probably before I was born. The only time it's been moved was when a new carpet was being fitted.

My meal tonight

Here's a picture of my meal tonight :



Ok, so it's not the actual meal. In fact, what I had looks sweet fuck all like this. I had it with the biggest bowl of rice imaginable. The rice expanded to ridiculous levels in the last couple of minutes. Turned my back for a few seconds and whooooooooooosh. Monster sized rice.

Here's the latest shopping receipt. No sign of the lovely Rachel tonight. Instead I was served by "Cashier". What a crap name to give your son.



Now if you take the time to compare this receipt with earlier ones you may come to the same conclusion I have. I buy the same boring stuff week after week. There is absolutely no variety in what I buy.

I have another huge bunch of photos from my mum to go through. I've got a better picture of the wall that made me so shite at tennis as well. So I'll be posting that on my very interesting blog.

I have no memory of taking this picture of a pint. But it was taken just before 8pm.

Fpr the full size version click on the picture

Photobucket is playing up

That's a bit of a nuisance.

I had the second of my rabbit food meals tonight. I swear that picture below of my meal is getting more and more shrivelled looking every time I look at it. Lucky the real thing was good.

So the polls have closed in the General Election and I haven't voted. The think the first place (?) might declare the winner after only 42 or 43 minutes. Oooh er.

I've just discovered I can record my voice on my mobile phone - which is interesting. That reminds me - I sent an e-mail to myself of a recording. I think I'll go and find it. I did find it - but can't play it. Buulshit.
I also was clearing out some pictures from my phone and came across a very interesting picture. Well, interesting for me. It is of a full pint of lager and I have no recollection of taking the picture. It was taken around 7:55pm according to the filename. Now the night it was taken I had been with someone in the pub after the football. He left to get the 5:50pm bus home. So I was still out drinking two hours later on my own....and probably a lot more if that was a full pint at 7:55pm. I also know I sent a text message that night but it never got to its intended destination. Which is just as well as I got carried away with reporting the full time score at the football. I already sent a message at half time saying we were winning 3-0. This changed to 700-0 by full time.

Fixed my toilet

My brother was up at my flat and he managed to fix the toilet. Having looked inside the toilet cistern to see what he'd done it's just as well I didn't try and do it myself or the cistern would probably have ended up on the floor.

What have I spent recently
27-04-2005 £0.80 Newspapers
28-04-2005 £1.20 Newspapers
28-04-2005 £1.35 Computer-Active magazine
04-05-2005 £1.79 Cornflakes
04-05-2005 £0.80 Newspapers
05-05-2005 £1.20 Newspapers
06-05-2005 £20.00 (not telling you - but no, it wasn't a hooker)
Most of my payments are made via Switch or Credit Card so I think I'll list any cash payments. If I list them here I can always come back and see what I've spent when I need to fill the details into my spreadsheet.

So, you've seen my shopping receipts. Now you see what I've been spending in cash. Next it will be my credit card and bank statements. Oh wait, don't want people seeing payments to monsterjugs.com or hairy-minge.com. Could be worse - it could be chicks with dicks or even sluts with nuts.

I might actually scan one of my bank statements. From my old bank. I still have two open accounts witht them I think. Both only have about 40p in each. One is an interest paying account and one is a current account. I haven't actually used them in well over ten years but they still keep on sending out statements every six months - which must cost more than I've got in the accounts.

These things appear in the weekly local newspaper looking through back issues. Some times there are a few gems amongts them. But not this week. I might try and post these each week.
Click on the picture for the full size version.