No snow. No phone. No sweets

Not quite as catchy as No Black, No Dogs & No Irish but the snow still hasn't arrived, the mobile phone isn't here yet (but I've had an e-mail to say it's been dispatched) and I had a message on my answering machine saying they didn't have any of the Oddfellows sweets and they were awaiting my further instructions before they could do anything. It was really the Oddfellows I was after as well - the others I just ordered to make the order look respectable.

This is the corner of my living room - what a disaster area it is....and this is one of the more tidy areas. Three of the instruments I bought recently on Ebay. There is a school photo of me but fortunately it is covered up by something. I wasn't fat or bald then though. 

I've just added this picture to my signature line at the SA-UK website. Hahahahahahahaha folks are going to be disappointed if they follow the link to my blog and find the drivel I have written here.

Sudan 1

What the hell is all the fuss about? I am pretty sure I have many of the items on the recall list but I'm fucked if I can be arsed taking them back. I've been eating them all this time so I've probably got any cancer I was going to get from this Sudan 1. I think I'll just take my chances.

Bird crap on my window

I opened my curtains this morning to find a bird had crapped on the middle window.....the one I have bother opening. It's one of these sash type windows and the string thing is burst - so when the window opens the top window just falls down completely unless I jam it up with something. It's a fecking nightmare to clean from the inside - so I'm just going to pray it rains....really heavy and soon. God those windows are manky - haven't been cleaned in years. One of the windows is cracked through the middle of it - just waiting to fall out on top of some unsuspecting person below. It's been like that since I moved into this flat nearly 16 years ago.

Still no snow and no sign of snow. Bet it's just waiting for saturday to come - just in time to get the football postponed. Still no sign of my mobile phone either...or the sweets I bought from the online sweety shop. Did I not mention I've bought sweets I haven't bought in donkeys years from an online shop. Oddfellows, Victory V's & Fishermen's Friends. The money hasn't been taken out my credit card account for either of them yet.

Definitely an old man now.

I've actually used the shopping trolley I mentioned below a few times now so I'm an old man officially. It wasn't much use and I even considered buying a pram to use instead. That would look funny. Arriving at the supermarket and parking the pram outside while I go shopping. Why did I never learn to drive while I was still a spotty youth?

Where's the snow

Everywhere else is getting snow but yet again it doesn't want to snow here. Even if it does snow it will not be the same snow we used to get as kids. Snow that was about 18 inch deep and stayed for weeks - nowadays we get one inch of snow and it's melted a day later....or even less. And why hasn't my mobile phone arrived yet. Christ I'm in a shite mood tonight.

Mobile phones

I've finally given up on my refusal to join the modern world and have ordered a mobile phone. Pity I didn't have one yesterday. My mate was acting as a linesman at a football match I was at. Not a proper linesman - he can only raise his flag to indicate the ball has gone out of play - he can't even say which way the throw-in should go. But I knew he had his mobile phone in his pocket. He'd have received a few phone calls from me questioning his decisions - just to see the look on his face.

So I've gone for a Motorola V500 phone. I know it's probably already been upgraded a few times by now - but that's the one I've gone for. Hopefully it will be here by tomorrow then I can spend the next few days figuring how to switch the thing on.

I forgot I had a blog

I really should write in this thing more often. I'd forgot I had a blog until someone replied to post.

I had a strange dream the other night (morning) that I thought was real. It was about 8am and I dreamt outside my bedroom window that the pavement below was thick with snow. It wasn't the vision of the snow - it was the sound of people walking on the snow with heavy crunching sounds. This was what made it real. I woke up at that point and lay in my bed to see if I could hear it again. All I heard was cars going by and no sound of snow on the road. It is most annoying these types of dreams. Many a time I've got up to answer a knocking on the door only to realise it was only a dream. Or worse, when I was younger I'd dream I was doing a massive pee behind a bush outdoors and then discover in the morning the bed was soaking wet.