What does this mean?

This is a text I sent at 1:56am. As the clocks went forward this would actually have been at 2:56am because my phone still hasn't changed the time yet.

So that the hell does it mean? And I thought I wasn't drunk. I have no recollection of sending this.

Sportsmans Dinner

One of the speakers at the Sportsmans Dinner was the guy that reads the football results out on the radio. It will be funny listening to the results after his performance on Saturday. I think I had 9 or 10 pints all night. How sad is that? I even went to a disco afterwards. Christ - what was I thinking. I wasn't the oldest there - but there was probably on one or two people older. I was asked to turn off my mobile phone before going in. What the hell was that all about. As I don't wear a watch my only way of knowing the time was with my mobile. So on it went again. At that point all the lights exploded. So I left.

For a while I was the only person that wasn't wearing a suit. I felt right out of place. I had a shirt and tie on. I'm trying to remain anonymous and then stick out like a sore thumb. Later a couple of others arrived without suits. Then the team players arrived and some of them were wearing jeans.

They played some stupid games. The compere for the evening would toss a coin. Everyone in the room had to stand up. You then had to place your hand on your head if you thought it wasn't going to be heads or on your bum if you thought it wasn't going to be tails. If you were wrong you had to sit down. I sat down even though I was right as I didn't want to be the last person standing. Same with the Irish bingo. I paid £5 for the card then hoped I wouldn't win the prize.

Answer the phone

This is what I got for not answering the phone. I was at a Sportsmans' Dinner for my local football club. During the first speaker my phone goes off. I manage to get it out and cut the caller off. Then it goes off again. So I cut it off again. I turn the volume right down and put the phone in my pocket. And then it starts vibrating. So I let it vibrate for a couple of minutes and turn it off. I then text the caller to say it was a bad time to call and then this is what I get. I ask you - what has happened to the standard of english teaching in our school tuday. Of all the times for it to start ringing. I try and be anonumous most of the time because I suffer from Social Anxiety and then this happens.

why does my eye always close

I was talking to my Dad on Thursday and noticed one of his eyes was more shut than the other. I've notied the same thing with me. One eye always seems more shut than the other.

The wrong person

Why is it when I'm depressed I always think back to my youth and then feel even more depressed. I can honestly say that the last time I was really happy was the summer of 1982. I can't say I remember anything of that summer. I just left school and was drunk most of the summer. By November things had started to go sour. I've a permanent reminder of the 5th November of that year. I became the ultimate wrong person that night. I don't what's worse....being a wrong person? Or now that I'm old - a non-person? I think my batch of home brewed lager had ripened (I don't know the right word) around that time. I was drunk every night in October. I say "home brewed lager" - it had the same colour as lager but that's where the similarities ended. I remember drinking it with someone one night and we went through packet upon packet of chewing gum in an attempt to deaden the taste. I was crazy stuff. It didn't do anything to your legs. But it made your lips go numb. And talking was impossible. So you'd walk up to someone and they wouldn't notice anything out the ordinary. You'd open your mouth and it was like Bill and Ben, the flowerpot men.

My cheap bouncy shoes

These cost £10 - and you can see why. The bit at the front isn't stitched - it is glued. 3 months maximum I'll give them and that's if I just wear them once a week for half an hour.

Is it bad luck to put new shoes on a table? Well I've worn them once so they're no longer new. Besides I've broke six mirrors already to justify my life of bad luck.

Must be the angle I took the picture at and the way the shoes are placed but they look really small. They are actually size 13. And you know what the say about blokes with big feet.........they have a fucking nightmare of a time finding shoes to fit them.

Missed work today

I missed work today. I just dithered about too long this morning on the computer and by the time I'd finished it had started to rain a little. So I thought, I'll give it 15 minutes for the rain to go off. But it didn't. It got harder. My brother's van passed by my bedroom window so I picked up the phone to see if he could give me a lift to work if he was heading back that way. But I wasn't fully dressed. With hindsight, I should just have gone ahead and phoned him as it would only have taken me 5 or 10 minutes to get ready. By this time the rain was belting down and there was a vicious wind. If t had just been windy - I'd have cycled. If it had been raining on its own - I'd have put on waterproof trousers and cycled. But wet and windy - is just too misearble to cycle in. I wish I'd just gone when I had first thought of switching off the computer....around 10:30 am.

Bouncy shoes

Just went out in my cheapo trainers to Morrisons. Christ - they are bouncy. I almost felt like running in them......then remembered my right foot is mostly numb and I'd end up falling over. They even look cheap. Still - I'm an old fart now. I buy things based on cost not on looks. Wait a minute - I've always done this. I must have been born an old fart.

Songs reminded me of places

Do you ever get this where a song can remind you of a particular place or whatever you were doing. Just after posting these pictures of the space where a hotel once stood it brought it back to me that every time I hear "Road to nowhere" by the Talking Heads reminds me of sitting at the bar of that hotel on a Sunday eating a pie. It probably means nothing to the one person reading this blog....or maybe a second person that clicked on to it by mistake etc. The Sunday part is very particular. It had an earlier licence than most on a Sunday. Mid-day, instead of 12:30pm that all the others opened at. An extra half hour meant everything on a Sunday if you had a hangover and wanted a curer. Certain songs by Simple Minds also remind me of this hotel/pub. Another reason this has just occurred to me is I'm listening to Virgin radio Classic Rock (0184) on satelite tv and "Brothers in arms" by Dire Straits. This also reminds me of eating a pie - but in no particular place. Must be getting nostalgic in my old age. Or maybe just wanting my youth to return.



Brothes in Arms

Transparent adverts

I'm pretty sure I clicked on a transparaent advert on the Channel Four news forum. One of these things that didn't get blocked by my pop-up killer. But when I went to click a link I was taken to the full advert website rather than another page on the C4 news forum. They're sneaky buggers right enough.

Now we've got to wonder what they are building behind this board. Maybe they're putting in an underground bunker and then building on top of it. Nobody wants hotels in this area. They just knock them down and build flats.

Better still - they knocked down a house that was only built under 10 years ago in order to make way for six flats.

More hotel pics

Finally boarded up....apart from the bit round the metal boat. Which hopefully I will have in another picture - if www.blogger.arse allows me.

Getting really old

I already got one shopping trolley free - now I'm considering getting another one free. I got another two pairs of slippers. But last night on Ebay I bought a shoe horn. Surely only old people have these. I did get a free one when I bought some shoes before but I've lost it. I'll bet it turns up the day after the Ebay one does.

Why can't I choose where I want the image to go. I wanted it to go below this bumph. These are the slippers - but not this colour.

Shoes and slippers

Because I take a size 13 in shoes it is quite difficult for me to get shoes. I order mine online from Clifford Jones. I ordered them on the 19th and that's them arrived today. So what I hear you say as some stores you can order at 7pm at night and they will deliver the next day. Well the last time I ordered over the internet from C J the order didn't even arrive. When I did order it the old fashioned way it took weeks to arrive. I've now got another two pairs of slippers. And two pairs of trainers. I expect the trainers to last 3 months at most. I got two pairs for £20. You get what you pay for. I am still awaiting another pair of shoes - but these won't be here until the end of April. I got a free key holder. Man, that was a struggle to get my keys into that thing.

Superstition

I mentioned to someone today about a stupid superstition I have when I am shaving.
I rarely have any hot water in my flat. In fact, any time I need hot water - be it for washing the plastic dishes that can't go in the dishwasher (once a year) or water for shaving I will just fill up the bathroom sink etc with the shower hose. It can stretch over because my bathroom is so small. The water for the dishes I put into a plastic tub. Back to my superstition.....

After I have shaved and removed the plug and let the water go from the sink I MUST spray the basin with the shower hose while the water is draining away. I can't let all the water drain away and then spray the basin (to fill it back up again to splash my face with water). Nor can I bring the shower hose over before I remove the plug.

Burnt my fingers.
In the tiny kitchen (just a sink really) of the office/workshop where I work a couple of days a week the light switch doesn't work. It's a pull switch thingy on a cord. So I have to get out a set of steps each time and put the lightbulb in and then remove it at the end of the day. Fortunately the light switch is stuck in the "on" position. Tonight I did my usual, remove the bulb with a towel in my hand to prevent me from getting burnt....but then I went to put it into a plastic container and stupidly I transfered the bulb from the hand with the towel to my thumb and forefinger of the other hand - and it was being held by the metal bit of the bulb. It;s still sore on those fingers now several hours later.

Hotel pic 2

Blooger.com getting on my tits

This blogger.com is getting right on my tits now. I'm trying to upload two more pics of the hotel but it isn't letting me. Fine - but can you at least tell me why not. Are the pictures too large (larger ones have made it through). Have I used up too much space with all my photos - if so, for fucks sake tell me.

Hotel pic 1

First pic.

I'm sure I published some photos before from when the hotel that used to stand on this spot was knocked down. It is across the road from the office/workshop where I work a couple of days a week. Well, I think they must be getting round to re-building on the spot as it has been surrounded by boards. Not completely, as can be seen by the final picture. All of these pictures can be enlarged hopefully by clicking on them.There is a large metal boat that hasn't moved for months on end and it is preventing them from completely boarding the area up. Wonder how they'll resolve that. Who knows? Who cares? This village where I once lived once boasted three pubs/hotels - now there's only one. The town where I now live is about to lose yet another hotel and flats will be built on this spot. This is another LARGE hotel. Five or six really large hotels in that same area of town have gone the same way over the last decade or so.

Kettle AGAIN!!

In the words of Victor Meldrew "I don't belieeeeeeeeeeeve it".

I've only gone and done it again. This time my washing machine was rumbling away in the kitchen at the same time as I put the kettle on. As I sat on my settee the noise started to annoy me so I closed the sliding door to the kitchen. After the washing machine had finished I went back into the kitchen and thought "a bit warm in here". Also the funny smell was back. Does my memory only last 30 seconds now.

Well I've no excuse for not getting to work for 9am tomorrow. I've made my sandwiches and they're in the fridge. My clothes are all ready just to put on. I've got most of what i need to do in the flat done just now so I can go to my bed at midnight or earlier.

Near porridge disaster

I'm rapidly running out of cornflakes and as I can't be arsed going to the supermarket to get "just" cornflakes I thought I'd give myself a few extra days by having porridge instead. I knew the bowl I intended eating the porridge out of - a glass bowl. But my brain kind of shut off this morning. I placed the porridge and milk in this bowl instead of a pot for heating up on the cooker. I couldn't figure out why the porridge was taking so long to come to the boil. Then it dawned on me. The glass bowl tapers down to a small base unlike a pot which has a larger surface area to get the heat from the cooker. But that aside - luckily I realised in time otherwise who knows what would have happened. I know it's safe to use the glass bowl in a microwave - just not so sure about on top of a cooker.

What a way to go.....my body punctured by shards of glass and smothered in porridge.

Back to my porridge - the instructions say "add salt to taste" - aye, that'll be shining bright (to use some Scottish rhyming slang). I think I'll just add sugar. I come from a family that even adds sugar to Kelloggs Frosties.

I'll need to get a new kettle

I've just managed to completely boil away 3 pints of water because the switch doesn't work on my kettle. I put the kettle on then went into my bedroom. Some time later I came into the living room of my (tiny) flat. I thought - this seems warmer than normal. There was a funny smell. That's odd - I didn't think the pie smelled like that. (The pie I covered the computer monitor in - see below). Then I got to the kitchen and it was completely streamed out. Kettle still works - it's re-boiling just now....this time I'm going to wait here till it boils.

That's the monitor decorated then.

I just had a mouthful of pie (no - get yer mind out the gutter) mixed in with salad cream and it was a bit too hot. So I coughed it back up. Now my computer has been completely sprayed with the contents of my mouth.

Finally washed the plastic stuff

You're not meant to put plastic stuff in a dishwasher. So, all my plastic containers have been piling up on my kitchen sink. They all fit inside each other. You kow, ice cream containers, Vitalite tubs etc. They have been building up for months waiting to be washed. I mean literally months. It wouldn't surprise me if they've been there for a year. This time I'm going to take a note that I've washed them today.....just to see how long I do let them pile up for. Although it is now my intention to wash them more often before they get the chance to accumulate. This is all in my grand plan to have a more organised life. I am getting partly there. My book-keeping for the restaurant I work for is done mostly on the Monday now - with maybe it spiliing over for an hour on the Tuesday. Before it was half hours here, there and everywhere.

9pm
It's now 9pm and I have a pile of washing in a basket on the living room floor. I hang them up to dry in my hallway. If I hung them up outside in the garden I'd forget all about them. The only problem is I've run out of of clothes hangers to hang them up top dry on.

What the hell is this gaelic mince I'm listening to on the tv. It's like the old Billy Connolly joke.

"That's them at the shaggin' next door"
"How the hell do you know they're shagging?"
"Because I can hear a gaelic program on their tv"
"So?"
"Naebody listens to gaelic on the tv"

Is it worth it?

Makes me wonder if it's worth my while placing an advert in the local newspaper if this is all I'm greeted with each day. Pah!!

My Council Tax bill

Just thought I'd scan and post this. As usual - click on the pic to see it in larger size.

Coo Dunnit

I don't remember getting sent this picture but I found it in amongst some e-mailed pictures. 

The cyclist

This is what the fat bald git looks like as he sets off on his long cycle home. It has been pointed out that my cycle helmet is too small for my head. This is wrong. The helmet is the correct size - just my head is too big. I'm getting bored. I think I'll search my computer and just post random stupid pictures.

 

Cycle clip

10:00pm - that's when I realised I still had a cycle clip on my trousers.

Found someone I may know's blog

I searched for the football team I support on the blogs and found a blog from someone I may know in real life. Well, when I say know - I mean I've seen this person at the football a few times. This person made his blog (or Live Journal) private for his friends only - because he was worried he was giving out too much personal information and he may be stalked by some weirdo. He's only 16 - although at that age he could get married if he wanted to. His name is on his blog so the next time I'm at the football I'm going to ask someone his name just to see if I have the right person. AND NO - i am not the weirdo stalker. It's just to satisfy my curiosity. That's why I don't like to put my name or town on this blog.....although I have posted my own picture a few times. If I was a bastard (I am, I am) I could say to him I was reading his blog. Then he'd really shit himself as he goes to the football with his father every week. He looks quite a nerdy type at the football - but he tries to act the hard man on his blog. Twat. having said all that - I'm dreading someone coming up to me and saying they've read my blog.

Profound text

Quite a text. I like the last line. That's why I kept the text and photographed it.

Funny texts

Sometimes the text messages I get can be quite funny.

Fucking passwords

I was flicking through all the blogs - by clicking the link in the top right of my own blog and came across this blog that required a password to enter it. I pressed cancel as I wanted to move on to the next blog. Dialogue box pops back up again. I enter a random password. Nothing. Password box pops back up again. I can't go to any other tab in Firefox. In fact, all I can do is Ctrl-Alt-Del and shut Firefox down that way. What a fucking annoying blog. What is the point of it. Why put it into a public place if you don't want outsiders to visit it. Prat. 2pm and done bugger all today. That's it. I'm going to post this and re-boot this computer. It's been on for about 4 days now. I can understand leaving the one in my bedroom for 4 days or more. Even about 30 days. But this one usually gets re-started every day.

Not allowed to play in the snow

I remember in my youth at school that when it snowed we were allowed out into the playing fields to throw snowballs at each other. Rather than the school playground. The Deputy Headmaster (Slinky, as we knew him) would stand in the middle to make sure it didn't get too violent. He was just a target then. Whenever he faced one way, those behind him would bombard him with snowballs. When he turned round in the hope of catching someone then the other lot would bombard him. Now, I don't think they are even allowed out into the playground. I can slightly accept this today as it is mostly slushy there now - but they playing fields aren't. Health and Safety gone mad. Or is it Political Correctness? The same stupid rules that prevent people from playing conkers. I'd hate to be a child growing up today. Apart from the fact they remove your brain at 12 years old - judging from some of the neanderthals that wander the streets. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd - they don't even get the same amount of snow. When we were young it would be up to your knees. It would snow for weeks on end. The snow would constantly be replenished. Instead, it snows for a day. Then thaws out the next day. What use is that?

Photo Blog

Photo Blog
You'll have to right click on this and open it in a new browser window or a new tab otherwise you'll be taken away from my blog. I was clicking on the "Next Blog" at the top right of my blog and found this blog. It cames as a bit of a shock the find Tiffany and Debbie Gibson had done some nude photo shoots. They were 80's versions of Britney Spears. Except they were whiter than white.

Click on the picture for a larger version.
This is the ground where I spend most of my Saturdays. I suppose I've spent a fair portion of my life at the same spot (standing at the back of the stand on a bench). I first went there in 1977. 28 years later. Maybe 20 games a season at home. 1½ hours each week. Call it two hours as I'm there before the game and 15 minutes at half time.
The reason I took the picture today was to wind up the team we played yesterday. We did the double over them for the first time since 1979-80 season. That is, we won both the home league game and the away league game. They totally outplayed us yesterday. But we still won 2-0. Daylight robbery. Such fun. Anyways - I thought I'd post this picture on their forum and ask them if they would have been happy to see this sight yesterday knowing they got beat.

Click on the picture for a larger size.
The view out my living room window this morning. When the snow on the telephone wires thawed out it fell to the ground below and left lines in the snow. To start with I couldn't figure out why the lines were there. Not a very exciting picture I know but better than what it's like without the snow.

Snow's thawing

I went for a walk around my town today. I've lived here since the end of June 1989 but in all that time I've never actually gone for a walk without going somewhere. What I mean is, maybe I've walked about a mile in the town but I was always heading somewhere. Like the supermarket. Or the football. Because of the snow today I thought I'd go out and take a picture of the football ground covered in snow. Then I took a walk down to the prom and along the prom - but not on the pavement. I walked along the grass (covered in snow) next to the prom. It was great leaving a set of footprints in the snow where previously it was just a large white blanket.
It was weird at times. Because I was walking different from normal. I was lifting my legs higher than normal. My legs felt numb by the time I got home. Really strange. At least my tv is back on.
I'm in two minds about what I want to happen with the snow. Do I want it to completely disappear for tomorrow as I have to go to the restaurant for my book-keeping. Or do I want it to remain for a few more days.....but clearing up in time for the football next week. I met my cousin and he's clear about he wants. He's a greenkeeper at a golf club. He wants it to snow for the next week so he doesn't have to go to work.
Ach well, that's enough for my blog for now.

Snowing......

That caught me by surprise.
The satelite signal on my TV went out earlier on tonight. I've been going mad trying to find out what was up. Unplugging the thing and plugging it back in. I finally decided to call it a night (at 2:10am) and went for a pee before bed. All the curtains in my house are drawn so I got abit of a shock when outside is completely white.
So THAT'S what's buggered up my signal all night. Fuck. I hope it's OK in the morning and I don't have to get the TV guy out to sort it. I was even searching through my blog to see EXACTLY when I bought the Freesat. I was convinced it must be one year and one day - so it was outside my guarantee. I am convinced they have programmed the things to go wrong then.

Ah well. I like snow - but not when it fucks up my tv. Besides, it usually thaws within a few hours. We never get real snow here anymore. I blame Maggie Thatcher. Since she came to power we haven't had any real snow (apart from the winter of 81-82).

It's me again

I'm back.

What am I going to post about? Mobile phones.

I mostly only use it for texting. Very few people actually phone me. In fact, only one person actually phones me. She reads this blog now and then. YOU!!! Yes - you. I'm talking about you again. Somehow I'd managed to set my phone to vibrate when I left for the football. While I was at the football I had the phone in my hand and my hand in my pocket - I use the clock on it as I can't be arsed wearing a watch. Anyways, the phone started vibrating - which gave me a surprise and then I didn't recognise the phone number. I was meant to text someone the goals from the match I was at as he was away at a wedding. His phone didn't work where he was so he borrowed his girlfriend's phone to ask me the score just before half time. It was 0-0. His girlfriend supports the team we were playing against so must have been pissed off as I texted HER phone first to say it was 1-0 and then 2-0......totally against the run of play. Great. 26 years since we've done the "double" over them.