Oh sugar

So, he's spilt the sugar - what does he do next? He does what every normal person would do - he takes a picture of it then posts it on his blog. Not tidy the place up then?

All my tv's working now

Finally figured how to get all three tv's working with Freesat. The only problem is it is confusing that I have to aim the remote at the Magic Link Eye thing - so if I'm watching on the portable b/w tv next to my computers in the bedroom I have to aim the remote at the MLE on top of the colour portable next to the bed....even if that tv is switched off. It's just not natural I tell thee.

I've ordered another Sky remote control on Ebay as it was getting annoying leaving the remote in the bedroom.

Charity wristbands gone mad

Alright - maybe they're not charity wristbands. How many rubber bands can you fit on one wrist?

Answers on a postcard to .........

£1 richer

I felt like I'd won the lottery tonight. I went to put my trolley back in its place at the supermarket and noticed a £1 coin in the trolley in front after I'd got my own £1 back. It confused me until I found the slotty thing and swiped the £1 for myself. Had I seen the person put the trolley there I would have shouted to them (honest) but instead I pocketed the money with a feeling of smugness.

Thunder and lightning
I think we may have some of this soon. My bedroom is like an oven just now. Really hot. The previous night I was going to leave the bedroom window wide open - but I was scared burglars would sneak in and bugger me while I was sleeping (coz that's wot they do you know). Tonight I'll take my chances. I've never tried it so I might even enjoy it if they did it to me. The only other problem is it's been boiling hot all day but dark clouds have been appearing. Knowing my luck it will start pissing it down when I've got the windows wide open.

Cheesecake

Just wolfed down a toffee cheesecake. 6 inch in diameter - here's a picture of the empty carton next to a sheet of A4 paper to give an idea of the size of it. I just kept nibbling away little bits at a time and before I knew it the thing was gone.

My Freesat

Well that's me got my Freesat finally with all the programmes I'm allowed. The TV installer didn't bother coming out to install the viewing card and gave me instructions to do it myself. I think he was avoiding me because I had to pay the extra £20 for the viewing card and he knows I would have complained. What could have cost me £150 from Sky has ended up costing me £259 by getting it done by a "local" person.
My Magic Link Eye thing works as well. But I can't use my portable b/w tv in the bedroom. I have two tv's in my bedroom. One next to my computers which is handy to switch channels the other is next to my bed. I can have Freesat on both of them but not through the Magic Link Eye (or is it Magic Eye Link?) or I can have the MLE on the bed tv but then the b/w tv doesn't work at all.

It's a puzzler.

No I'm not giving some sort of nazi salute. Note my charity wristband (or is it just a blue rubber band) and look at the state of the windows falling apart.

Clothes getting dried

Hopefully they'll be dry by the time I go to bed as they are right above my bed. I don't like hanging them outside (far healthier I know). I usually hang them in the hallway but as it's so bloody hot just now I can hang them in my bedroom and they'll be dry quicker.

Who ate all the pies

40 years old and he has this written on his bedroom door. I give up. I am well aware that there is an "S" missing from the end of the last "pie" - I was just making sure I had used the right type of pen. ie not permanent. Below is the remainder of the hand.

A nice smelling fly

There is a fly in my kitchen and will be smeeling a bit nicer than all the other flies. I don't have any fly killer spray but I do have some deoderant. I thought I'd skoosh the little blighter with that. I even thought I'd killed him at one point as he disappeared from sight - but the little basket case is back. Maybe even has super powers now. It's probably shitting over any food I've got left lying about just to spite me.

I'll end up dreaming I'm being chased by a large version of this sheep. (click on the picture for the full size version).

I'm famous

Post edited - maybe I'm not famous.

Where's my fecking camera? I'm getting annoyed waiting for it to arrive now. At least the have one of the camera this time and it is "on it's way" but what the hell does that mean.

I hate this heat. It must be a sign of old age moaning about the heat/cold. I've been told by a policeman friend that there are more car accidents in summer than there are in winter with the icy roads. All these pervs driving about in cars looking at 18 year old with tiny skirts and skimpy tops. There's a thought to go to my bed with now. Instead I'll probably end up dreaming of being chased over fields by giant sheep.

I am not afraid

As a result of the bombings in London last Thursday (7/7......or as the Americans would call it, 7/7) there seems to be a lot of "We are not afraid" pictures going about. So, I think I'll add my own.

I woke up this morning and my willy was gone
Ooooo eeee chirpy chirpy cheep cheep

They don't write songs like that anymore he reminisces.

What's going on in the world today?

I can't believe what I'm hearing on the news tonight. A 14 year old is accused of raping a 7 year old, two 8 year olds and is also accused of sexually assaulting a 10 year old. Not even over a period of a few weeks - he tempted all four girls to leave the playground where they were playing to a more secluded part of the park. Also, on the day of the London bombings a 10 year old girl was found by her grandfather murdered not far from where she lived. She had been beaten to death. Police want to speak to two boys she was seen playing (football I think) with earlier. A couple of months ago a 12 year old girl was accused (in the press) of attempting to hang a 5 year old boy. I know kids have been raped/murdered (by adults) since the beginning of time but now kids are being accused of these things with greater regularity than I can remember. Maybe the reporting of these things is getting better because of faster communications but I definitely think things are getting worse.

Maybe I was just more innocent at that age - but things like that didn't even enter into my head.

My monitor's on its last legs

I think I'll need to invest in a new monitor soon. This one is going crazy now. The only problem is this computer is very huffy about having other monitors on it. I'll need to try again to see if I can get another monitor working on it.

Why is my computer so arsey when it comes to monitors. It just won't allow another monitor to be used on it. Why is my other computers don't care what monitor is used - I can chop and change them without any hassle. This is getting right on my tits now.

This heat is killing me

Well yesterday I spent the day like a slob - unable to get off my settee - I just slept there most of the time. And now my back is in agony as a result. I also stabbed my left foot with a kitchen knife. It was lying on the floor. My left foot stood on the blade. My right foot stood on the handle and slid the blade into my left foot. I have little feeling in my right foot because of a back operation about 9 or 10 years ago so I couldn't stop it. Actually, it was a mountain out of a molehill. There was bugger all wrong with my left foot. A big fucking Jessie is all I am. I've just been reading about someone else that has had to go to hospital last night because of them cutting themself that bad and I'm worrying about a pin prick.

My camera can't be far off now

I'm expecting my camera to be delivered any day now and I can start posting more pointless pictures on my blog again. Then the thing will be left as the novelty wears off.

Update :
Well my camera willl be far off now. The memory card arrived today so I went to check the website to see if the camera had been sent out yet.......low and behold - nothing. No mention of a camera. It had vanished into thin air. I went to check my e-mails to see if there was any mention of it and I found an e-mail dated the 5th July saying they couldn't find any supplies of the camera. Fucking marvelous Amazon.co.uk. That's the last time I'll be buying anything from you. You took from the 26th June to the 5th July to find out you didn't have any stock of the camera. Anyway - I've ordered another one....this time I paid the £9.80 to have i delivered quicker and it's still going to be £19 cheaper than Amazon. I only went with Amazon as I thought they'd be more reliable than going with a company I'd never heard of.
So this morning I'm grumpy and tired (as well as fat and bald).

Cornflakes, biscuits and pot noodles

How long can someone live on cornflakes, biscuits and pot noodles? I'm just too tired the last few days to eat. I did make an attempt at a meal the other night, but it looked disgusting, tasted worse ands despite me flushing it down the toilet I'm sure the smell is lingering around to remind me.

Not recognising people (#17)
At the supermarket tonight there were only two tills being used and one of those was the "baskets only" till. I had a trolley - but the nice looking girl directed me to that till as I didn't have that many items. Just as it was my turn I noticed the person behind me had only one item (a huge box of beer bottles) so I said he could jump in, in front of me and he replied "Thanks Longshot Kickdebucket". It was only then I noticed that the person live in one of the flats below mine and I have probably known him for about 20 or more years.

Woken up by five helicopters

Went to my bed at 2am and decided to get back up and post on SAUK at 6am until about 11am then went back to my bed - pointless as I knew I would be back up at noon. I was then woken up by what I thought at the time was one really loud helicopter right outside my window (absurd I know). But I found out later there were actually five of the beggars buzzing about. What am I going to be woken up by next.

Raging at the cost of my Freesat
It is advertised on the Sky website as costing £150. I saw a local TV shop advertise in my football teams match day programme the same thing for £199 so I'd rather go for someone that advertises in there even though it was £49 dearer. I then had to wait 6 months and after it's installed I'm told it will actually cost £239. There was no viewing card with it and so after about another 10 days of the TV shop guy saying it is a computer glitch to blame (I wonder if it was the same computer glitch that delayed the installation by 6 months) he then phones me up, gives me a phone number and I've to order the thing myself. Another £20. £259 I've spent on it so far. £109 more than if I'd gone direct to Sky. Fuck loyalty to my football team - I'll go for the cheap option in future.

Whatever happened to Roxette?

I was listening to a song on one of my Freesat channels and I thought that sounds like Roxette. At the end of the song the title came up as something like "Roxette versus blah blah blah". I hate that. What's this versus all about? Is she having an arm wrestling competition with the person? No. She is singing on the same song as this person. So what did happen to Roxette. I really mean - whatever happened to Marie Fredriksson from Roxette.